3 easy steps to say no in a nice way, without feeling guilty

Saying no to others can be a bit of a challenge.
Maybe you’ve had some bad experiences and now you’re struggling with it.
You came to the right place, get ready to discover how you can say no in a nice way, without feeling guilty!

Have you ever found yourself apologizing for…

• Speaking up for yourself because you don’t agree with what’s being said…
• Doing something you’re really excited about like cooking your favorite meal [BY YOURSELF!]
• Not explaining your decision
• Or simply saying no to something you don’t want to do?

Trust me, as a people pleaser, I’ve been there too.

Whether it was at work or with family or friends, I always felt the need to apologize and overly explain myself for saying no to others.

That colleague who always stops at your desk after a meeting, simply because she doesn’t want to do her tasks. She knows you’re not saying no to her even though your plate is way too full already.

That friend who’s always busy last-minute so she can’t do the prep work after all for the party that you’ve planned together.

And then there is our family… Somehow their lives always end up being busier than yours but hey, you don’t want to let your parents down, do you now?

You really want to say no to them but end up saying yes, don’t you?

I say it’s time to change that. That’s why you’ll read some of my best tips and tricks on how to say no to others in a nice way WITHOUT feeling guilty in this blog.

PLUS you can download the best ways to say no HERE.
Spoiler alert, you don’t even have to use the word no!

The importance of saying NO

Saying no is necessary to prioritize the feelings and needs of the most important person in your life: YOU!

By saying no to others you give yourself the opportunity to say yes to yourself.
You ARE the most important person in your life and you deserve to put your own feelings and needs first.

This can feel uncomfortable, or selfish even, but know that if you’re not looking after yourself, no one else is going to do it. It’s your job to make sure your needs are met and that your cup is full.

You’ve probably heard of the phrase “You can’t pour from an empty cup” before and I learned the hard way that it’s true.

By saying no to others, YOU ARE saying yes to yourself.
No matter what that looks like.

Maybe you’re saying no because you don’t have the capacity to add another task or you’re about to do absolutely NOTHING for a moment. Simply because you need to catch your breath.

Know that your “no” is 100% valid in every situation.

Will it always be easy to say no?
Probably not.

Will it be worth it?
Always!

When you learn how to say no to others and yes to yourself, you’ll start making choices that are better aligned with YOUR goals & dreams. It will enable you to establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and help you to live your happiest life without feeling overwhelmed and burned out.

And… because we also like to think about others, let’s have a look at how saying no in a nice way not only helps you, but also others.

It might sound odd, but by saying no, you’re doing everyone a favor. Yes, you read that right, you are doing yourself a favor AND others.

Think about it, how good is your “yes” when you actually wanted to say “no“?

Because you don’t have the time…
You don’t have the energy…
Or you simply don’t want to do it.

If you can’t fully commit, then don’t. Nobody is helped by someone who can only show up 50%, no matter the reason. By saying no you’re giving the other person the opportunity to find someone who will be fully committed.

Committing to saying no when you can’t or don’t want to do something is good for your integrity. It enables you to be more honest and authentic with the people around you.

This way you will build relationships that you actually feel good about.

It’s only by saying “no” that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.

– Steve Jobs

Say no like a boss

If you’ve been struggling with saying no to others and yes to yourself, it might feel like you’re about to slay a dragon. Or maybe you’re feeling rude or don’t want to come off as selfish.

Don’t worry, I got you!

It’s totally possible to say no in a nice way, without feeling guilty!

I narrowed it down into a 3 step formula for you to practice and in case you would like to have some examples ready, you can download them HERE.

Trust me, they’ll come in handy when the next person surprises you with a request!

STEP 1 BE CLEAR

If you can’t do it or don’t want to do it, say no.

Be clear & firm with your answer. Remember, it’s better for the other person to find someone who’s 100% committed instead of 50%.

Say no without justifying, giving excuses, or extra fluff. All the things that you say after “no” will give the other person a possibility to counter your “no” and hook you back in so you’ll end up saying yes. It also shows that you’re uncertain so make sure to be firm with your decision and stick to it. This way people won’t see a possibility to talk you out of it.

Being clear is good for your integrity. This way people know what to expect and they are more likely to respect your boundaries.

STEP 2: BE CONCISE

Of course, you can give a reason why your answer is no. Especially with people that you’re close to it might feel better to explain a bit more why you’re saying no.

But, as I said in step one, there is no need to over justify it. Or to apologize for the fact that you are saying no to a request.

You can download some examples of clear, concise & nice answers HERE.

STEP 3: BE NICE

People often feel rude when they say no, but this is in no way necessary!
It’s totally possible to say no without being rude, without hurting anyone’s feelings.

YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO SAY NO IN A NICE WAY!
And you know what, it’s very much appreciated by others.

By adding a simple “thank you” to your answer, you recognize the other, and this way people are often okay with getting “no” as an answer. This

• Thank you for thinking of me
• Thank you for the offer.

By recognizing the other, even if it’s not something you want to do, you show that you value the other person. For example

“Thank you for thinking of me but I’m not able to do that due to my other commitments.”

If you want you can also offer an alternative. This is in no way necessary but might help. You can suggest a date or time that would work for you or redirect them to someone who might be able to help out.

Try it, you’ll be surprised how much people are okay with hearing the word “no” when you’re nice about it!

EXTRA TIP

When you’re practicing saying no to others, people might catch you off guard. They surprise you with a question and you don’t have an immediate answer.

Know that it’s 100% okay to take some time to think about your answer.

Be honest about the fact that you’re not sure whether you’ll be able to make it or able to do it and then let them know that you’ll look into it and when you’ll get back to them.

This gives you some time to check in with yourself and to come up with a good answer.

Ready to say no to others in a nice way?

You’ve got all the ingredients you need to say no to others like a boss.

Use this 3-step formula to form your answer and stick to it. I’m really excited for you and you’re going to do great!

In case you would like some examples make sure to download the free NO Guide so that you can use it anywhere, anytime. It got lots of ways of how to say no in a nice way, without actually using the word no.

It includes examples of

• How to say no at work
• How to say no to someone you’re close with
• What to say when you don’t immediately have an answer

Start living your best life, today!

Lots of love & positivity,