When you think about your happiness, it’s often because something is lacking.
Whether it’s a feeling or something else, but I bet you never considered the 6 layers that you will read about here!
Happy Life by Design gives you the opportunity to dive deep into these layers and help you discover what makes YOU happy!
Layer 1: YOUR DESIRE
Desire is a tricky “thing”. You can’t see it, you can’t hear it, but it’s there! I have desires, you have desires, we all have desires.
It’s totally normal. The only question is… Are your desires actually YOURS?
Your first reaction might be “of course!” but think about it. Is it?
Is it something YOU truly desire? Or is it someone else’s desire that has been reflected on you? Maybe by a friend or the media. The media spends billions to tap into your desire so wouldn’t be a coincidence.
That’s why it’s a good idea to take a step back and have look at what YOU desire. What would make YOU truly happy?
Is it that new phone that your friend just bought? Or going on that amazing trip that everyone else is going on? Is that something that would make you feel truly happy and fulfilled?
Three simple questions
Ask yourself the following 3 questions to find out.
⇒ 𝗪𝗛𝗬 is it going to make you happier?
⇒ 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 would it mean to achieve this desire?
⇒ 𝗛𝗢𝗪 will it impact your life?
Are you satisfied with your answers?
Be aware of how much power you give to others when it comes to your desire and make sure to stay true to yourself!
Layer 2: YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
Limiting beliefs are always a biggie. Just like your desires, you can’t see them, you can’t hear them but 👏THEY 👏 ARE 👏 THERE.
The only thing is… You might not even be aware of having them.
Limiting beliefs start developing very early on and most of them are “passed down” to you by the attitudes and beliefs of others.
The good and the bad
A limiting belief has a good intention, but also conditions fear and it limits your potential.
For example ➡️ “Life is hard.” ⬅️
Good intention: pain and struggle are normal and a part of being human.
Conditioned fear: there is no hope of you feeling at ease or happy in your life.
Potential limits: feeling discouraged and hopeless, accepting difficulties or unnecessary suffering because you believe it’s normal or it’s to be expected.
Now we don’t want that, do we?
Especially because creating that true feeling of happiness is something that can be so easy!
Happy Life by Design will help you to peel back this layer. Because your limiting beliefs are affecting everything in your life. Your relationship with yourself, your friends, and your family. But also the way you show up for yourself at home, at work and everywhere you go.
A first good step to take on limiting beliefs is becoming aware of your language.
For example, try to be aware of the word “should”.
How many times are telling yourself that you should or shouldn’t do something?
Whenever the word comes up, ask yourself if you truly believe what your saying or did someone else plant this in your mind?
Layer 3: YOUR EGO & IDENTITY
Understanding what your identity is and what identity you have created within you is important.
Because you are not the only one who influences your identity, other people do as well! Think about what role models you have (had) and the things you see in your daily life.
It’s shaping you and chances are big that you are playing the same role your role model did. For example a friend or someone in your family.
This is because your mind is made out of all kinds of boxes. Everything you learn and experience goes into a specific storage box. And when your life changes, you will open a box that is linked to a similar experience that can unconsciously change your behavior. For example marriage or starting a family. Over time you will find that some roles will serve you and some don’t.
What roles are influencing YOUR identity?
So ask yourself… Are you aware of the roles that are influencing your identity?
Take a moment to think about the following
⇒ What roles did you see growing up and in what ways do you play them out the same way in your life?
⇒ What roles do not serve you that you would like to let go of?
⇒ What roles DO serve you that you would like to continue in your life?
I have experienced firsthand that this can be super tough for many reasons and it can come with the feeling of resistance. Know that this is 💯 okay and that becoming aware is a first and difficult step!
Layer 4: YOUR TIME
Layer 4 is a bit of a turning point. The first 3 layers of happiness are influenced by the outside world, but this is where you come into the picture. This is where you actually have a choice!
Time influences your happiness in different ways. Of course, there is the past, present & now and being in the moment is an important asset when it comes to feeling truly happy.
Did you know that time also influences HOW you experience happiness? Have you ever noticed that people experience it differently? That they spend enjoying their time in different ways?
Basically, there are 2 different types when it comes to experiencing happiness.
The experiencing type & the remembering type
The experiencing type lives in the moment, is really present, and forgets about the rest.
The remembering type is more of a storyteller and experiences joy later on when they think back on what’s happening now.
Which type are you?
Are you more the experiencing type or the remembering type?
In my program Happy Life by Design we’ll be diving much deeper into this.
Layer 5: YOUR PATTERNS
Are you wired for joy? Let’s try to find an answer to that question.
Did you know that everyone is wired uniquely? Still, we can all feel overwhelmed, especially at times like these. It gets even worse when you feel that you don’t have enough time doing the things that weren’t on your schedule or list in the first place. It all adds up.
Try to be aware of these feelings because you might start developing a negative association with the things you’re doing. If that’s the case, ask yourself WHY you are doing it.
Are you working towards something you want and it’s valuable?
Yes? ➡️ It’s okay to make time for it.
No? ➡️ It’s best to take it off your plate.
Huh, I can’t just leave things!
Don’t worry, you don’t have to. Maybe you can reschedule it for another day or…
You could ask someone to help you with it. Maybe not your normal go-to because you are wired to do everything ourselves. But why not give it a try?
There is actually a big chance that they might say yes and that they are happy to help! They appreciate that you’re reaching out because they know you are so busy but they don’t know how to help.
🎉 That sounds like a 𝗪𝗜𝗡-𝗪𝗜𝗡 to me! 🎉
So when you look at today’s to-do list, which is probably never-ending, what’s something on there that you could reschedule or ask for help with?
Layer 6: YOUR EMOTIONS
Your mood, your emotions, they are a biggie when it comes to experiencing true happiness and joy.
They feel like they are your reality and what you remember to be your reality.
When you are having a positive mood, it helps to trigger those positive memories that give you that warm feeling of joy and fulfillment. But when you’re having a negative mood, it triggers that negative memory. It dictates how you see the situation at that moment.
Ever heard of the crazy 8?
People tend to live in a pattern of an emotional roller-coaster.
When they go up the 8 it’s all anger, anger, and anger, then they reach the middle and there is a moment of happiness. Then when they go down the 8 there’s a lot of sadness until they reach the middle again and experience a moment of happiness.
Why do people go through this? The answer can be simple.
Anger gives adrenaline and can be addictive. The sadness can give sympathy and we all like some at times.
How to shift your emotion?
First, becoming aware of your emotions is a big step. Acknowledging that what you feel is a negative emotion is really powerful. Next, ask yourself HOW this emotion benefits you. If it does, perfect. If it doesn’t, try to shift it and let go of it.
A very powerful emotion to replace it with is gratitude. The more room you have for gratitude, the less room there is for negative emotions. So whenever you’re aware of an emotion that doesn’t benefit you, try to replace it with gratitude.
If you want to create joy for yourself, make a list of the things you are grateful for in your life.
If you want to shift your emotion AND create joy for others, tell someone else you’re grateful for them.
Happy Life by Design
Yes, these are the 6 layers that hold you back from truly feeling happy.
In my 8-week program Happy Life by Design you’ll be diving in much deeper, so you can really peel back those layers and discover what holds you back from experiencing true happiness.
You will also learn how to shift them, learn to push past them, and rewire new ways of thinking, so you can actually find out what fulfills you and makes you happy.
Happy Life by Design helps you to design a life where you will make time for yourself and that STILL allows you to show up for other people and relationships, WHILE cultivating a beautiful relationship with yourself.
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Have a happy day,
